Time. We all have the same 24 hours allotted to each day. However, times when my child is fighting for her life, 24 hours is vastly different. Time seems to change, to draw out, to never end when spent at her side while she begs for relief. Eyes spill, wanting with every ounce of my being, to take away her pain. This time leaves me a choice with how i will spend it. Will it be in a state of worry, disconnecting, talking to everyone else but Jesus?

This week as i have sat by my child’s hospital bed, not knowing what her future holds, my dad gently reminded me to use this time to sit in the presence of my Creator; my child’s Creator, Who loves her more than i can fathom. i have more opportunity than most to spend time in the presence of God when i am forced to simply be still; but so often, i allow this opportunity of time to drift past.

As i have watched my child suffer over the past 18 years, i have become overwhelming aware of the sacrifice God made by allowing His Son to die on the cross for my sin. Before this, i could not truly understand the heartbreak God felt as he watched His Son be beaten, nails driven and life drained. However, every time i must helplessly hear my child cry in pain, watch lifesaving blood flow into her veins, i am reminded of just how significant the sacrifice God endured. This is one of the beauties among the ashes in this ridiculously hard life that i call my own.

During these times when life is so hard, taking another breath seems like an unattainable task. These beauties among ashes that i so often speak of, become mere dust if i am not using the hours provided to draw my breath from Him. The choice is mine to make. If i choose to use this valuable time to crawl up in His Lap and rest in Him, i can not only be strengthened to endure this insurmountable trial, but taste His Sweet Presence in my life not acquired any other way. Today, i am choosing Jesus. Parents, will you join me?

We are in this together,

Much Love, TyiaLynn